Peter Burnett

 

 

 

Welcome to the website of author

Peter Burnett

 

 

http://leamingtonbooks.com

The 2016 Forfar International Book Prize Announcement!

 

This year's winner is Keith Imray Imray with his novel


AW THE DUGS CAAED TOPAZ


Congratulations go to Kevin Imray Strathie of Forfar, the winner of the 2016 Forfar International Book Prize (formerly the Forfar Book Prize) for a first original novel set in, about, or by a person from Forfar. Aw The Dugs Caaed Topaz is an exciting debut and we look forward to seeing it on the shelves. Well done Keith!


Forfar

 

SYNOPSIS: "Tam Bamm, local soutar and spaver champion of Angus, gets Beldie Sparehair with chiel after a heavy neeping houk at Sklarty Mains. Evicted from his Aromatherapy Residency at the local workhouse, Tam overcomes his childhood of cuddleless trauma and the petty sniggering of the toon's Minister and assorrted nosebleeders to triumph over his brutal oppression down the Mince Mines of the Mearns.

Waking one night from a laudanum-induced fever amidst the detritus of his mis-shapen youth (rescued African slaves, gambleaholic violinists, Poles, snooker) he sees a vision of a socialistic paradise that resolves itself in the glory of a grant from Dundee City Council.

Shunned as a twat and a dreamer by the hidebound bourgeoisie of Forfar and their attendant capitalism, he, with his dependant family of all species, bedraggled and wet from the pish thrown from the windows, walks into the roaring metropolis of Dundee with nought but a dream to keep his body and stocking together.

Working first as a Fat Polisher in the Pie Factories of the Groaning Tayside Juggernaut he rises by dint of diligence and prostitution to a position of influence in local Town Hall Politics. Smoking cigars and constantly farting he becomes Provost of the writhing Serpent by the Silvery Stream.

A closer than expected call with the Queen leads to a series of near death sentences and Swedenborgian meeting rooms until, finally, with the backing of the Argyll and Sutherland Highlanders (whose colonel truns out to be Tam's missing first daughter in drag, with taped down tits and a'thin) he marches into Forfar once more, his writ to run forever in the name of Forfar and Angus history."