Duchamp's Demonic Brilliance

Marcel Duchamp was not just a lord of art --- glib, condescending and effortlessly virtuoso — but a great poet, and a demonic.

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Sleep Nears

Falling asleep, and cortical vigilance doesn't fall at a uniform rate, it shifts up and down, tending to becoming lower in steps.  Alpha rhythms rise in bursts but less often and with longer periods of slow waves, and little by little ideas escape us.  In intervals we return to attention realising that we've just had some weird thoughts about something that weren't even related to the thoughts previous to them, and we feel we are talking inwardly to ourselves and that we've just said something that doesn't make sense, or is a made up word or phrase. The voice is accompanied by an equally unfamiliar but striking display of visual imagination.  Faces are common, sometimes moving.  Abstract forms, patterns, nature scenes, becoming more complex, until they are brought to an abrupt end . . .

Shit Said Sean

 

"Shit" said Sean Noccery as he grappled with the little girl, "I was only trying to give you a lift home, and now you run away into the woods like this."

And as the school bell rang, Sean attempted to pick her up from the ground, but she said to him: "My daddy and his friends hurt people like you, mister."

And then Sean did say "SHIT" again, except louder, for they were from Glasgow, which frightened him.

And then gritting his teeth, and reddening in the shame of his sextagenarian lust, Sean thought very quickly :

Oh no! I've floundered in the woodies,
Handling now the student goodies,
For my obsession grows with fanny
I am ashamed! A filthy mannie!

Goliards United

 

Following Wales and England's Mad Former Great British Brexit from the EU (what's the EU?!) the manic depressives of Europe have gathered their best players and will be entering them into the World Cup Finals.  So far the team is as follows:

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Inverugie Castle

The ruins of Inverugie Castle lie on the north bank of the Ugie, about two miles from Peterhead.  Inverugie stands on a slight eminence, with the river winding round it on three sides, the banks being finely wooded. 

 

Inverugie Castle

 

A legend says that Inverugie's name is properly ‘Pot Sunk Ann’, as it’s said that one of the Earls of Keith married Ann, a daughter of Crawford, Laird of Fedderat and that after a year of marriage, she was warned in a dream to leave the house. 

Anne was said to have left the castle in the midst of a fearsome storm, and guided by the same treacherous spirit that visited her dreams, she was drowned in an attempt to cross the swollen river.

In the words of the ballad Old Inverugie:

 

She screamed for help, but none was near,
No succour to implore;
She floated to the eddie neuk,
Then sunk to rise no more.
And to this day that fatal spot
Is known to many man,
And rustic neighbours point the spot,
And tell you ‘There Sunk Ann’.

Waugthor?!

Mid pig ... bannock … heifer … slum … pie … and of course, cow …

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The Caged Lady of Buchan

Isabel Macduff, the caged lady of Buchan, and sister of the Earl of Fife, who was also attached to the cause of King Robert the Bruce, was the subject of a well-known Buchan verse.

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Communiqué 10

JOHN DILLON'S IN; WE WON

BATTY AND HIS TRANSFORMER'S OUT; WE WON AGAIN

PUT THE BOOT IN

BOGSIDE—CLYDESIDE

SUPPORT THE ANGRY SIDE       SPREAD THE WORD

POWER TO THE PEOPLE

Communiqué 10
The Angry Brigade

Mutation / Aspects

MUTATION:  Charm: With this power, you can exude a pheromone that makes all humans in the area trusting, happy, and generous. Honest, too. You're not completely immune to your own power, however!

SOCIETY:  Death Leopard: The Death Leopards do whatever they can to have fun.  That's what it's all about, right? And what's more fun than explosions, gunfire, and wreckin' shit?!

Your mission today is to set fire to at least five things and/or three people. You've got a pocket full of IgnaLight Stickers just for that purpose.  Just stick one to something, scratch it, and... Well, at that point try to get a few feet away.

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Dundee Book Prize

Yew may have heard that Dundee University is scandalously offering non-Dunds (some of whom are undootedly Papish) Ready Cash to write a novel about Dundee, the City of Discography. Dinna, right! Because I have it all sown up wi my entrance "Art of the Fugue Off" about a DJ wi a problem wi drugs in Dundee wi some mates. Nae bad, eh? My Social Worker thinks she has seen the film already, it's that good. It's bound til win, seein as how I'm a Registered Mentalist, and ma da was a cunt AND a welder. If I hear of ony other entrances into this Dundee Book Prize Quiz, I'll club them to death. Now I gotto go. I'm midway through "Swann's Way" (it's shite!)

Crass Merrymaking in the West Highlands

LOSS RATIOS EXPLAINED.  As well as depression related shop-lifting, an abyss of deepness opened, distress flowed up through the slough, and our cousins came to stay for the weekend.

This did not effect the overall performance of the Economy, which suffered only a minimal amount despite the high volume of unhappiness.

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Wife-Fighting on Unst

 

Willkommen zu den deutschen Seiten von Unst

Unst welcomes all visiting Wife Fighters!

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The Lapse of the Artwork into Commodity

Marcel Duchamp's Three Great Putative Gestures were:

 
1. Adding a moustache and beard to the Mona Lisa in L.H.O.O.Q (1919);

2. Bottling Paris air (1919);

3. The creation with Man Ray's help of his artistic alter-ego, Rrose Selavy (1920 and 1921), who featured on an empty perfume bottle, whose purpose was to provide a bottled version of the artist.

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Some May Search This

Some may search this, while others may re-earth this thing called consternation in the net-book of mental pages where there are displayed two stages of rage like stage one : I am introduced to sway as a young fry one day then stage two I'm getting it the hell out of me YEA I put that shit on hold : "I must welcome you to this website and bring to you an announcement of intergalactic importance .... ladies and gentleman I'm the Voice of ConBy explosive specialist Panatenda Stacks the treacherous millenial expedition chief administrator of Perpetual Freedom, and I will f**uck you executives consecutively, I will test your chests out like trampolines YEA I will make the sky roll back like I'll make it all fold four fold and f**uck the dumb shit out of you, so you may not need to get smashed in a car crash quick or beaten with a half-eaten deadbeat chicken drumstick cause Peter Burnett summoned me to photocopy your entity and carol your dying ditty where hope draws up, you will not outlast him in specious buildings, and nor can you obscure a part of yourself in illiquid earnings, hear ye hear ye obliquities of hateful ways, and Peter's maniples are fired away so hereof let your study be as clear as shit, and ken that I wrote this ruled by Mr Hit. He is my dealer . . . . of course!!"

King James Counterblaste to Tobacco

King James I and VI, advice to smokers.  King James Ist and 6th, for he was famously and simultaneously both — was King of Scotland as James VI from July 1567 and King of England and Ireland as James I from the union of the English and Scottish crowns on 24 March 1603 until his death.

As well as being the first big Unionist on the scene (#indyref) the King was a keen writer, and among other things, now described by academics and critics as 'minor prose works', wrote what we would now call an essay, titled A COUNTERBLASTE TO TOBACCO.

The kingdoms of England and Scotland were individual sovereign states in those days, with their own parliaments, judiciary, and laws, though both were ruled by James in personal union.  I can't work it out either, although his stance on tobacco was clear.

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Burnett's Holy Fowl

Bernard (Saint) - (d. 1153) Founder of the Cistercian order but best loved as an opponent of Peter Abelard, Bernard of Clairvaux boldly borrowed quotations from the Cluniacs to make himself famous. His guitar playing and populist approach saw him commissioned to stir up solid peasant hatred during the Second Crusade in France and Germany, and he was canonized for this spreading of undue intolerance. He was named Doctor mellifluus, the "honey-sweet teacher", for the fine education he gave to young Wayne of Perth

Cuthbert (Saint) (b. circa 634, d 687) Visions as a sheep tending lad ensured a life of national travel and celebrity for this one time bishop of Lindisfarne. Why British people developed an interest in disturbing his remains after he died is unclear - but Bede describes how Cuthbert's body remained intact, his clothes unsullied and his hair neatly brushed after many years underground. Not forever though - mankind lost faith - and when Cuthbert was dug up again in 1827 - he were but bones.

Gandhi, Mahatma (b. 1869)  Studied law at Oxford and crowd control in India. Left Europe to get away from photographs of James Joyce. Was killed en route to prayer in 1948 and has been watched on film by many an audience of disbelieving cineastes. "Look at the state of those rags!"

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Lager Shanty

Lager Shanty: In that order.  Another evening of wein, weib und gesang in Sordid Glasgow.  And after "Gies a Tune" with DJ Malky Brogan on Radio Clype, and the flicking back and forth of the television in a yawning half-contemptuous manner, what could we do other than run up the starry path to meet Oblivion coming down? Later on, this typical Glasgow scene comes complete with the two shandied lovers slipping each others' tight leashes to go separately in the night, each to an off-sales of their choosing, for more of the Same.

The River Ythan and the Crown of Scotland

Buchan — Ythan — Forgue — the Kirkhill of Logie — and the Soorick Burn — the source of the pearl that is found in the Crown of Scotland.

The Ythan — or Ituna as it was known to the Romans — rises in the upper parish of Forgue, from three springs which are collectively known as the Wells of Ythan.  Half a mile from these springs, the Ythan receives its first tributary, the burn of the Sorrel — in Doric known as the Soorick Burn.  This is near the base of the Kirkhill of Logie, at the summit of which are the final remains of three druidical circles.

It is perhaps surprising to some people that in this remote area of North East Scotland, there were both Romans and Druids — but there were.  Both Romans and Druids in their ways were in the business of setting boundaries, and near this spot at the Mill of Knockleith is where the Ythan begins to form that for which it is still known — the boundary of Buchan.

At one time, the Ythan was known for its mussels — called pearl oysters — and in the list of unpublished Acts of Parliament of Charles I, there is one “for repeating the patent for the pearl-fishery in the Ythan, granted to Robert Buchan.”

 

 

There is a tradition in fact that large pearl in the crown of Scotland was procured in the Ythan, the story being that it was found at the junction of the Water of Kelly (spit, spit) and the Ythan, and was presented to James IV in 1620 by Sir Thomas Menzies of Cults.

Skene, in his Succinct View of Aberdeen, says that it was “for beauty and bigness, the best that was at any time found in Scotland.”

On account of these pearls which were found in the Ythan, the river was once called “the rich rig of Scotland” and although pearls are still found there, there is no regular fishery for them.

A Note on the Crown of Scotland

The Crown of Scotland is very old indeed.  The Crown was remade in its current form for King James V of Scotland  in 1540. It is part of the Honours of Scotland which is the oldest set of royal regalia in the United Kingdom. 

In 1540, the bonnet of velvet and ermine was added to the crown, but an earlier form of the crown is shown in the portrait of James IV of Scotland  in the Book of Hours, done for his marriage to Margaret Tudor in 1503. 

This 1503 date is the earliest known reference to the crown and so 1503 is thus the latest date of original manufacture of the crown.

The Crown of Scotland on Wikipedia