Favourite Photo of Marcel Duchamp

This is my favourite photograph of Marcel Duchamp.  It sometimes goes under the title of 'Marchel Duchamp's Departure for America'.  An artist like Duchamp is unique in everything, and sometimes that comes down to the pure ephemera such as this photograph represents.

Let us look at it in detail.

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Umanets' Yellowism Defacing of Mark Rothko

Subsequent to Vladimar Umanets’ Yellowist deface of Mark Rothko’s painting Black on Maroon an excerpt from The Studio Game from Fledgling Press.

         People destroy works of art for a variety of reasons. Sometimes they believe that a work of art is valued by other people more than they are. Others have had political motives.

cf. Paul Kelleher : The Destruction of the Statue of Margaret Thatcher Abortively with a Cricket Bat and then with a Metal Pole (2002) Criminal Damage on marble, three month sentence.

Sometimes a mania is a personal fixation that carries itself to a violent conclusion, much like a murder — and sometimes it’s an accident — as in the case of Heery the Hippie of Multiple Solitude who built a twenty foot driftwood Ossian, which blew away into the porridge of the North Sea.

Read more: Umanets' Yellowism Defacing of Mark Rothko

What Was Psychogeography?

 

In the 1950s psychogeography was earnest, modest, miniscule, and made no difference.

It makes me wonder too, why not just tear a page out and say it was an accident or something if anyone asks?

In the 1960s psychogeography was melded to the New Urbanism.  Architecture was the simplest means of articulating time and space, of modulating reality, of engendering dreams, and the few who knew this had more liberty to express it than they even dreamed of.  The years were HALCYON.

 

Psychogeography
Psychogeography

 

Living in Europe and speaking 5 languages isn't that crazy especially since there is a lot of crossover among them.

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The Curse of Scotland Pt 2

 

PART TWO:  The Nine of Diamonds remains the Curse of Scotland.  The origin of this name is not certain but many explanations, some of which follow, are suggested.  Lord Justice-Clerk Ormiston was called the Curse of Scotland and so the Nine of Diamonds (also commonly called the Curse of Scotland) was known to them as The Justice Clerk.

Read more: The Curse of Scotland Pt 2

The Lapse of the Artwork into Commodity

Marcel Duchamp's Three Great Putative Gestures were:

 
1. Adding a moustache and beard to the Mona Lisa in L.H.O.O.Q (1919);

2. Bottling Paris air (1919);

3. The creation with Man Ray's help of his artistic alter-ego, Rrose Selavy (1920 and 1921), who featured on an empty perfume bottle, whose purpose was to provide a bottled version of the artist.

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In Scythia with Herodotus

 

"First, however, I must mention that HEMP grows here … It grows wild as well as under cultivation … And now for the Vapour Bath ... : on a framework of sticks, meeting at the top, they stretch pieces of woollen cloth, taking care to get the joins as perfect as they can, and inside … they put a dish of red hot stones. Then they take some HEMP SEEDS, creep into the tent, and throw the seed on the stones. At once it begins to smoke, releasing a VAPOUR unsurpassed by anything one could find in Greece.  The Scythians enjoy it so much that they howl with PLEASURE."  (Herodotus)

Thus in 450 BC, two and half millennia before any politician first clenched a buttock in mock anger, the ancients were pleased to be at it in classical and innocent fashion.

 

Editorial Piles in IRL

It may be worth my while to note that the book reviewers of the last two decades ought to be included in my list of Biblioclasts and as the enemies of IRL books. Many books that lie in stacks in newspaper offices, due to the large amount delivered there, have had a few leaves removed, and in many others whole sections torn out. 

I suppose it served the journalists’ purpose thus to use the wisdom of writers but books are delivered to newspapers unbidden and yet in good faith as perfect, and when they lie unreviewed in their hundreds,  the editors are quick to cause damage if found defective or low in quality in their eyes, while the publisher has no redress.  This way, books are destroyed in the thousands, each year.

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Shit Said Sean

 

"Shit" said Sean Noccery as he grappled with the little girl, "I was only trying to give you a lift home, and now you run away into the woods like this."

And as the school bell rang, Sean attempted to pick her up from the ground, but she said to him: "My daddy and his friends hurt people like you, mister."

And then Sean did say "SHIT" again, except louder, for they were from Glasgow, which frightened him.

And then gritting his teeth, and reddening in the shame of his sextagenarian lust, Sean thought very quickly :

Oh no! I've floundered in the woodies,
Handling now the student goodies,
For my obsession grows with fanny
I am ashamed! A filthy mannie!

The Drinkard's Aberdoniensis

The DRINKARD's Aberdoniensus

 

and

 

The Combined Technical Jargon of Bev

 

These are all words and phrase which we have picked up from researches into the Scottish-Aberdonian way of speaking. We are three American students from New York who are in Scotland because of the unique words which they use here, and the Peter Burnett Website has let us publish what we have collected so far.

 

We hope that you enjoy the words and that you send us more if you hear any while you are in Aberdeen!

Read more: The Drinkard's Aberdoniensis

Greatness Revisited

The idea of great artists came to me long after I’d learned to paint.  You could find out who I considered to be great, but that would only tell you something about me.

You could make your own list to the same effect but what good would that do you? You would be as well listing the great flowers of all time, the greatest icebergs in the world, the towns with the greatest air, or the greatest breadsticks that ever were made. Kiel has the greatest canal in Europe. Or myaybe it does not and perhaps the honour is due to Venice or to Manchester.

You’ll find that there are so many great things in the end that you're wasting your time with this policy, and the only thing that stops everything from being great, is yourself.

Try it now. Try and say something nice next time you open your mouth. You might be able to manage it once but you probably can’t keep it up for very long. If you’re like me, you’re a cynic because you’ve been bred a cynic ... and you see so much of the world as a chance for you to shine with your luminous criticism. It's all you and me have, and it's what keeps us from the rarity of greatness ...

Authors!

I GOT THIS LETTER, I THINK IT MAY BE SPAM:  Someone said that they had seen you coming out of a 'Christian Bookshop, whatever that is, and that Christianity is a kind of God-thingy.

Which is perfect. So this is in the way of being an offer of a contract for the a series, provisionally entitled EASTEROGEN! that we are starting up.

Read more: Authors!

La Femme Burroughs

Do any of you, with your enviable access to various franchises of Pondgravels Books (etc) ever read any William Burroughs? 

No, you don't., and I agree with you all that he is a fake and a clown, and much worse: an influence.

Read more: La Femme Burroughs

The Beggar's Benison

Notes Copied from the Records of The Beggar's Benison

For which see Male Sex Clubs of the Enlightenment in Scotland

The Minutes of The Beggar’s Benison

1734 Candlemas: 13 Knights present.  Chamber tyled at 3 o'clock, and opened in due manner.  One Feminine Gender, 17, was hired for One Sovereign, fat and well-developed.   She stripped in the Closet, nude; and was allowed to come in with face half-covered.   None was permitted to speak to or touch her.   She spread wide upon a Seat, first before and then behind:  every Knight passed in turn and surveyed the Secrets of Nature.  Afterwards the Sovereign closed the Chambers, after Repast in the accustomed form.  Secresy enjoined upon faith.

Read more: The Beggar's Benison

Strichen's Horse

After the Celts and the Anglo-Saxons were forced into Christianity, the sacrifice of animals was frowned upon and discouraged.  What did carry on however was people’s adoption of skins and horns, yet one more diversion which bugged the early church fathers, even as far back as  St Augustine’s time:

'If you ever hear anyone carrying out that most filthy practice of dressing up like a horse or stag, chastise him most severely,' he said.

This custom derives from sympathetic magic, which is a kind of intimate communication with the natural world, and appears to have carried on as an aspect of Celtic life.  The very last surviving relic of Celtic horse magic is found in hill figures, however, long after people stopped adopting their skins and heads.   Another surviving aspects are horse effigies, which are paraded through towns, sometimes known as an Oss.  The oss is accompanied by a man with a club called a Teazer, and his name suggests he teases the horse under and about its body with his club.

Some of these rites, or part of them at least were assimilated into Christianity, and St George absorbed many of the qualities of then horse god, and horses were even sacrificed to him.  And the Christian knights became riders of white steeds — as readily as other aspects were soaked up into Christianity — such as the brazen sun-disc and the festival of Christmas.

The horse as a pagan symbol was steadily unseated, and mounted by St George, St Margaret and St Michael, and the horse’s spectral association with both the apocalypse and the underworld — at least to Christians — was forgotten.

The Last Mince Pie in Aberdeen

Aberdeen Journal, 31st August 2037:

The suburb of Gilcomston, which last week fell to the Gibleteers (one time of Holburn), is to be destroyed this evening at 6PM. The last team of arbiters, which left the area at noon on the 30th, complained bitterly at the state to which the citizens of "unoccupied” Aberdeen have been reduced.

"It stands to reason," said Chief Moderator Frunkie Meldrum, "that when one section of a populace lay claim to such a large proportion of the pies, the rest will begin to bray for blood."

And this is exactly what has happened. Mothers yesterday welcomed the move, and "single-operative-parents" (SOPs) gathered from Kittybrewster and Garthdee, to stone and to boo/hiss the Gilcomstonian population after it is herded out after the rout. Several mothers' groups have been calling for the storming of Gilcomston for some weeks now. "Aboot fichen time ken," said Dana Hattons, ex of The Corther. “Wor kids hae nae hid nae pies fir weeks ken, and at's shite."

For the last 4 weeks the lack of mince pie in the Northeast has been critical, and Angus Dung-dee Substitute has proved unpopular with the people, who have largely refused to even feed it to their dogs (although the kids don't seem to mind). Aberdeen Football Club's benefit single "Our Goad is Mince" (B side : Billy Dodds’ Avatar sings : Mincey-Wincey Spider) raised funds to feed Tullos Academy pies for school lunches, for one week, but with the price of meat now exceeding the price of bus fares, even charity is uneconomical.

"Rumour is they've struck mince," said A. A. Milne of Texaco Drilling Co. "We for one sold them twenty million pounds of chopped onion." But the controversy will rage no longer, and arbitration has reached the dead-end field at the fuck-end of bad behaviour, and the Militia move in at 6PM.

"They'll absail down St Nicholas House," said Special Dowser Barney "Premium Cut" Sillerton, "and break through the cordons at Wolmanhill Hospital. The troops will stage a faked move on the Old Age Compound erected at Rosemount, and while this is going on, the Beef Dump will be drained by our special Cornhill Crack Squad, using only straws."

Should the raid be successful, and the peoples of Gilcomston routed, then we could once again be enjoying our pies," said Councillor Alwyn Lamb (age 6).

In the meantime, experiments continue. Scientists are working on a new substitute known as Diced Forfar Briney, and the last cow is to be auctioned at the Beach Ballroom, in a special ceremony tonight, hosted by Nicki Campbell IV (under the armed protection of the Beef Volunteer Reserve Force).

West Lothian Drugs Park

 

"It came from the sky like a Hun in a trail of blue pish towards us faster than a shot of smack to the final section of the large intestine."

In August last year, Mr Baxter Dunders of Glasgow suffered a severe heart attack while visiting the West Lothian Drugs Park. He was discharged from Hunbridge hospital two months later, and from that day until his death at the New Year, Mr Dunders was in very frail health and required to be nursed by Lorenzo Amaruso, drinking three litres of Sunny Delight each hour, and pissing clear blue meths.

He passed away to be the Lord, one of  the greatest advertisement for the Drugs Park, and remains in the memory of the authorities, one of the greatest burdens there has ever been on the British taxpayer. Sinewless, and generally greeting, Mr Dunders found respite at the West Lothian Drugs Park, from where he was never turned away. Unlike his local pubs in Proddieston, Sounesburn and Anthemdale, The West Lothian Drugs Park offered the isolation required for Mr Dunders to expel all the carnality and anxiety from the heart of his alcoholic shopping bags. Visitors to the Drugs Park can still see the Shopping Bag, but are strongly advised to bring their own carry out.

Sandram Lewis Dunders : "While walking at the Park his body was united with the smack, and his pain and anxiety left him. Which the Lord, the righteous Judge, shall give me at that day : and not to me only, but unto all them also that love their ecky"

(2 Tim. 4:8)

 

Friends of Unst

As a subscribed "Friend of Unst" you are entitled to a regular digest of all the Local Doings on the island as well as a quarterly "fry" of chops (or saucermeat) and all for $59.99 a year.

Since your last visit to Unst we have seen the forced departure of Malcolm and Cassandra Pepys from the 'Bide Awa' in Baltasound, due to a disagreement over boundaries with the North Sea. The eviction of Mr and Mrs Pepys saw scenes of unprecedented English lunacy from Malcolm as he tried, unavailingly, to reform the tidal nature of the oceans with an ornamental arch of Huddersfield Brick. It is believed that the Pepys' have emigrated to Bangladesh "to see how they fu**ing like it".  We hope his butchery experience serves him well.  

This left a sad hole in the tourism infrastructure and of course in the wife-fighting team of the island, so we were glad that the 'Bide Awa' quickly attracted New Owners (and who wouldn't want to own this gorgeous guest outlet?)  Johnnie and Babs Dalrymple, originally of Callander in Mozambique, have brought a great deal of unwonted energy and colour to the island, and indeed the whole place is buzzing with expectation at the thought of having such rhythmic people in our midst. 

Elsie Johnson at the Cooked Meats and Frost Fish dealership said that this should give us the edge on Yell in all the sprint finals in this years' Shetland Sports, and we were surprised indeed to find that the Dalrymples are Full Christians and have very few 'extra' dietary needs, though the Special Constabulary are still on Red Alert, just in case.