- Written by Peter Burnett Peter Burnett
LOSS RATIOS EXPLAINED. As well as depression related shop-lifting, an abyss of deepness opened, distress flowed up through the slough, and our cousins came to stay for the weekend.
This did not effect the overall performance of the Economy, which suffered only a minimal amount despite the high volume of unhappiness.
Sadness related incidents both out of office and under management thumb continue. Most of these are down to the following contributory factors : poor television; low sap; poverty slump; and disparaging glances in the shops.
The total amounts of money lost by General Evil Wankers (including those sums contributed by the Association of Losers and Gapers), continues to rise, albeit at a low rate. GEW losses have been as follows :
Belittlement, dread, and bad dreams: £1.2 million
Compunction, contrition, lump sums of penitence: £7.9 million
Spanners in the works: £11 million
As we enter the cul de sac of hope, and as the blithe and carefree dump willy-nilly in the downstairs loo of good cheer, it would not do to see them prosper while we fail. It is essential that we keep a very close eye on the saddle-soapers who continue to thrive while we are crying in our shabby beds.
YES: Subscribe for capital share in unquoted corporates, whose management have the ambition to capitalise on their capital share of the fodder rich multiple business channels which deliver up deals to transfer ownership of externally controlled capital shares, in order to sadden the market share of the unquoted corporates and guide the profits firmly into recession, by riding high on the waves which escape from the bullish bum chambers of corporate panic and inconvenience.
YES: Increase milk shareholding and cause emotional furore in the farmyard, invest inwardly in the contributing mayhem and enhance cattle teamwork for the barn raids, forcing communal acquiescence from the remodelled herd, thus pouring milk out of the community and into small oxygenated independent holdings, where the flotation of new outlets can be udder pumped between bedded down stock, leaving you just enough visibility to drink as much as you can, and burp milky in the face of your mocking initial financiers, as they trot with greed towards the principal corporate dividends, of another bumper year at your expense.