- Written by Peter Burnett Peter Burnett
This is published with The Combined Technical Jargon of Bev
These are all words and phrases which we have picked up from researches into the Scottish-Aberdonian way of speaking. We are three American students from New York who are in Scotland because of the unique words which they use here, and the Peter Burnett Website has let us publish what we have collected so far.
We hope that you enjoy the words and that you send us more if you hear any while you are in Aberdeen!
Pish : Take pains to use the word pish in Aberdeen. Like the Eskimo and his many words for snow, the Aberdonian will specialise in urinology and in potomamia, both of which combine in this word. The afternoon pish is the finest of the day.
Offie : Where you get the coco-coloured piddle that gets you pished. At the offie bev is cheap as hell now, but the prices go up tomorrow. Alcohols banned from other areas in Europe arrive in Aberdeen via maritime travel. Alcoholism is aided by a thriving trade in offshore pish, which floats to the City from afar.
Rat-arsed : The desirable anus of the rodent in Aberdeen. Like you get chuffing pan-heided man like chuffing shit-marracked or chuffing lager- shandied and chuffing bevvied like out of it
Rubislaw Den : You can buy no mince in the Den. Home to renowned personages, which is a species of the Ugly. Granite houses, once full of conversationalists have lost their charm since filling with gadgetry. Mind is impalpable matter, the universe without doubt mechanical.
Scoof : To knock back drink. Onomatopoeic expression. Scoofers are remiss in their philosophy, and treat pleasure as a prodigal, sensual, ignorant quality. Pleasure is only the absence of pain, and thus the scoofing of bev in Aberdeen is little more than wilful 45 year suicide. At the weekend many people shout, fight, are sick, and sleep with people they wouldn't even normally spit on, and wake up pleasured.
Teuch : He lives in the country and comes to town, where he takes an interest in the culture of the Cheeseburger, and the Track Suit, and the King Rib, none of which he can obtain in the provinces, and all of which cause him to say Fuck sake Min.
Thrashing : Unruly auto-stimulation. In contract with yourself. Where women fear to tread, operates the thrasher. The painful imagery of another satisfying wank. Jug-dreams. "If only I could so readily relieve my hunger by rubbing on my stomach!" Diogenes Menzies. An ugly sight, but masturbation does take place in Aberdeen.
Tinnie : The aluminium encases the bowl of Rump Punch, or sometimes Shitty Beer, the pish and the bevvy which will eddy in your headie.