- Written by Peter Burnett Peter Burnett
This is still no on print. I know I’m trying to do it on here. That thing’s is still no on. Just remind me are you in the morrow? I don’t know if you need to sign this or not because that toss has fucked my computer. See now you ask me I’ve forgotten. Mine’s isnae working either. This is nae dialling out. Is yours a Samsung N four hundreds? Will that get to Debbie by the morrow? I never thought on a coffee til you said it. Garry’s just came into next door’s. It was strange it was two cheques came cause it was through the Enterprise. Is that client away working anyway? When I leave here the morrow lunchtime I’m in the town all afternoon. He’s a fucking monkey – that offer’s up five hundred pound. Why is nothing going to the printer? I know those solicitors have got those offer papers so that means those clients are holding this up. They’ve done other stuff after their mortgage. I spoke to him a few times so that’s how I thought maybe I knew his number. Ah bugger right up my nail — I’m going to go on holiday with a sore finger. I’m just away to phone the furniture place so how long do you want to wait for this chair? Wait I’ll away and put this money in here. Do you want me to find out from Liz if that client’s been in contact for an offer then? Have you seen that Effective Selling Workshop? That’s yours — it was on your desk. Who’s got suspension files? One letter and I had six attempts at it. Can you get us those Payment-Shield quotes? Is the client’s golf clubs and the electric caddy-car covered under this policy? It’s an electric caddy car, like a caddy car except it’s electric. He’s just renewed his clubs. Per year for the electric caddy car. Mine’s has got Zurich Payment-Shield in it, so use that. You can park next to the photographer’s place. Who’s got the Stoddart reference number? See setting that up it was worth fuck all. Is this the disk you was at the scissors with? I was told we would have an offer by the fifth of October. One of these is that accountant. Were you here this morning when I phoned Garry about Rank Xerox? You ken whose fault it’s going to be. I wasn’t in at that meeting so that’s between you and Jim. What I made out from this is that you pay two quarters up-front. Poor Jim cannae git the gither with his fucking lawyer. I cannae agree to anything or disagree to anything, that’s my attitude. The contract backs up what Gerry says he said. I’ve got my living room the way I fucking want it, thank fuck. See they laptops, they’re shite. That new lassie’s awful on the phone. That’s us going away back the way. This place is stinking of lasagne when you come in. I just put monthly totals in and they came out annual. I want hame and on holiday. West Kilbride’s a great fuckin focus for gossip. What mailing would you suggest for that? I’ve no got that many ring tones. Give me two seconds til I swap phones. I’ve just had Yolanda on the phone from the admin saying she’s no further on. I’ve burst the speakers in my car. See my watch is waterproof to two hundred metres. As I said, the growth on this bond will be accelerated when the market revives. Put a note to the cleaner telling her not to unplug my fucking kettle. Friday we’ve got the Anne Summers party and then on Saturday it’s DJ Sammy. See them, they’ve got eight cars and he drives a Mercedes S Class. Basically the Mail on Sunday gave this portfolio a glowing report. He’s not built like a bear but he can still fight like fuck. See Noreen puked her ring inta the side of the road and I couldn’t stop her. If I see him this weekend I’ll pan his lights in. I told her I am not missing an entry date for one pishy bit of paperwork. Is your maw coming on Friday night? As I said, these shares are all tarred with the same brush. Look at the state of his application form. Think of all the claes you could buy for that amount. Talent was good last night in Club Del Mar. Have you seen my Gucci watch, it’s scraped to bloody death. I just find it strange that men want to get together and wear pinnies on a Friday night. She did her fucking dinger when she found out you’d nicked her blue pen. She blocked her phone trying to fuck around with SIM cards. She says the ball’s in his court and that makes things worse. She was getting pursued by his fucking text messages and she goes that's a fucking nough. I couldnae wear thon with my thong. That’s just a bollocks looking car. I worked that case from beginning to end and now I got offer papers and they don’t fucking want it. I’m just going out to the garden centre the now. I hope you charged them a fucking arrangement fee. Yolanda’s going tae get her fanny kicked for this. The Irvine Royal’s a fucking dump so it is. Because of the high number of claims due to back injuries, we no longer insure on this basis, that’s the only thing. Wait til I phone my boyfriend, he’ll piss himself.