Interviewer

Ah Bona, bona, Morrissey. I've shekked your drivvies, and your new gang of instrumentals is going to get the kaffies of your hoofers all dizzy.

Morrissey

Yes, and their bold batts too.

Interviewer

Will it mean a lot of fantabulosa cottaging?  A hit among the fruits?

Morrissey

Yes, but my handbag won't grow.

Interviewer

This has always been your trouble.  Omis ogle you yes, the ogleflakes of the odd polone too. But the feeles dont varda your true mince. Could it be the national handbag for you yet?

Morrissey

How right you are my love. But the charpering omi are on the troll for those vadaing the chickens, especially in the carsies. Every camp and butch in my audience is at risk.

Interviewer

So what's the answer?

Morrissey

I raise my capello to guys like Dr Dre and Eminem. Not their drag however! It's the gelt they earn, and with me nanti on nishta. Their drew are not omi-polone, but a guy like Eminem, nice orbs and onk, nice riah, and always bona trade, I sometimes think I should just pack my shoosh bag and become a riah shoosher.

Interviewer

As in "Riah Shoosher on Fire"?

Morrissey

I've always been a fan of the trade. The palare-pipe rining, and the odd plate after work. Trade up to my thews!

Interviewer

Is that a shyker under your slap?

Morrissey

Certainly not!  And these are not willets. I've just been eating lots of Linda (= veggie sausages)

Interviewer

So back to the new album, and ajax the tommy gun, how are you going to earn a handbag for your dish?

Morrissey

Well I've Mike Joyce back on the strillers.

Interviewer

That's all the cartsos need to hear! It sounds cod.

Morrissey

It is meese to see the meshigener Mike again.

Interviewer

Well, thanks.   I'm sure the fans will be bona dizzy to see your ecaf in the glossies and to get their luppers parked on your new latty.

Morrissey

Thanks. Nice basket, by the way.

Interviewer

It's dolly, isn't it.