- Written by Peter Burnett Peter Burnett
To be published with The Combined Technical Jargon of Bev
These are all words and phrases which we have picked up from researches into the Scottish Aberdonian way of speaking and living. We are three American students from New York who are in Scotland because of the unique words which they use here, and the Congy Ben Website has let us publish what we have collected so far.
We hope that you enjoy the words, and that you send us more if you hear any while you are in Aberdeen!
Fettercairned : to get stoned on an uncritical mass of lager, or hash. To do so with the same lack of foresight that leads you to knock your head on the pavement, or cairn if applicable.
Fuck Sake Min : Mild colloquial oath. Describes extreme disorder in the eye of the beholder, who is likely amazed to the very handles of his pump-up trainers.
Haddo : Spare and mental, a prince among emotions. "The boy went Haddo", much as he "ta'en an eppy" expressing the ardent and unsparing nature of his aggression. The mind, allegretto.
Hash : In Aberdeen, the unoccupied mind, cannot locate the formal cause of its failure to communicate, but in the calm of the lager, the doctrine of inference will force this mind to conclude, that local street cannabis is mixed with mild glues, and other adhesives, which cause that present ringing in the mind, and that slow erosion of subconscious knowledge. Not to buy drugs in Aberdeen then. No spiritual high to be contacted in the City, for the local Cannibol / Glue mix will leave you fallow, and disinterestedly browsing the pubs for more. If not, then disinterestedly browsing your magazines, or maybe your wallpaper.
Inveruried : To drink as much as a person from Inverurie might drink, on visiting Aberdeen for the first time, and eating his first ever cheeseburger, and fries there. Fertile delight on the face like a thrasher at his jugs. Bleezing.
Fud : Gut entrance and likewise. Among the subjects taught in Aberdonian schools, English language holds a singular position. The primary children use this word while quiescent teachers pretend not to know what it means.
Jugs : The coward's term for the long lamented milky breasts of his youth. He seeks the jug who fears the breast. He likes to spunk on his magazines. A man who takes no heed of woman cannot use a woman's words and so he says : jugs.
Mince : The drinkards precision meal, sold by the cup in Aberdeen. Mince is the subject of much controversy. Mince and tatties, often with peas. A Teviot pie, is mince also with pastry. Finicking morsels of cow for you to chew.