- Written by Peter Burnett Peter Burnett
"It came from the sky like a Hun in a trail of blue pish towards us faster than a shot of smack to the final section of the large intestine."
In August last year, Mr Baxter Dunders of Glasgow suffered a severe heart attack while visiting the West Lothian Drugs Park. He was discharged from Hunbridge hospital two months later, and from that day until his death at the New Year, Mr Dunders was in very frail health and required to be nursed by Lorenzo Amaruso, drinking three litres of Sunny Delight each hour, and pissing clear blue meths.
He passed away to be the Lord, one of the greatest advertisement for the Drugs Park, and remains in the memory of the authorities, one of the greatest burdens there has ever been on the British taxpayer. Sinewless, and generally greeting, Mr Dunders found respite at the West Lothian Drugs Park, from where he was never turned away. Unlike his local pubs in Proddieston, Sounesburn and Anthemdale, The West Lothian Drugs Park offered the isolation required for Mr Dunders to expel all the carnality and anxiety from the heart of his alcoholic shopping bags. Visitors to the Drugs Park can still see the Shopping Bag, but are strongly advised to bring their own carry out.
Sandram Lewis Dunders : "While walking at the Park his body was united with the smack, and his pain and anxiety left him. Which the Lord, the righteous Judge, shall give me at that day : and not to me only, but unto all them also that love their ecky"
(2 Tim. 4:8)